Story time

It’s starting to get that “winter” look outside, and it makes me want to stay in until April. But I know that would be bad for the little rug rats, and besides, I’d probably go clinically brain-dead from picking up all of the train track pieces from every flat surface of our house every day for five months. So where do we go? I’d like to go to the library to check out some new books, because if I have to read Trucks, Zoom Whizz Rumble just once more I think I’ll need medication. But the problem is that the best time to go to the library on Mondays is during “story time.” And honestly, I avoid story time like I avoid Walmart. Don’t get me wrong, all you library-lovers. I do the whole library thing. It’s just the story time that gets to me. First of all, I think there is some kind of Brown Bear, Brown Bear cult. Every time they read that book, all of the parents start chanting it along with the librarian. Picture a group of moms (sometimes a dad or two) half-whispering “Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see? I see a red bird looking at me. Red bird, red bird, what do you see? I see a yellow duck looking at me. Yellow duck, yellow duck…” It’s just creepy. One time they read some familiar nursery rhymes, and that didn’t happen. So it’s not just because the parents are familiar with the story. There is something about that book. But I’ll tell you what, I’m not feeling the need to join in on the chanting.

The second strange thing is that the librarian often does not really read the book. Sometimes, she paraphrases or skips lines. Maybe she thinks the kids don’t have the attention span for the chosen book. But if that’s the case, then CHOOSE A DIFFERENT BOOK! Or, at the very least don’t interject in the middle of the story to explain how you are soon going to visit your own little grandchildren in Colorado, and how excited you are to see them because you don’t get to see them that often, but you’ll have to really celebrate Thanksgiving on Wednesday instead of Thursday because that’s when everyone will be there. Even I don’t have the attention span for that. But I really don’t have the attention span for much lately. So maybe it’s just me. Perhaps we’ll simply stay in for the day. We can go tomorrow. I’ll just have to listen to that truck book again tonight. Please just tell me we have a little more red wine so I can have a glass after the kids go to sleep.